Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
