I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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