I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
smell my finger.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
