Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
