it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize