no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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