And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
