I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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