we have officially lost it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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