i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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