Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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