The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize