He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
