At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I touched a dick in church today
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
