My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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