So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
