I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
How many fucks given?
0.12846
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
