i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
