Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
