yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
