420 ftw
so explain again why im purple
no
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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