Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
