at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
