thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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