i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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