That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
