dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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