I'm going to jail i love you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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