I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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