hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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