You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
did you just send me my own nude
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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