do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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