that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
