How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
