Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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