The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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