wakey wakey hands off snakey
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
