I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
