No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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