there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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