I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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