whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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