I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
