people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Randomize
