Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
do herpes really smell.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
