My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize