a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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