is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
