How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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