so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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