Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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