do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
