So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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