If that was your dad, he is hot
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
where am i from again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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