let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
