I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
