There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
