Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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