Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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